Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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