after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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