We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
