at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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