I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
