Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
