im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
