Im at strip club and am horny
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
