This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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