Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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