quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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