I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
How external is "for external use only"?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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