At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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