I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
