I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
