Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Found your dick twin last night
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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