i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
