I want to walk on stilts...naked
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
