Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
