Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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