Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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