hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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