Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
