i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
