Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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