and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
