he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
