This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We need to get me chipped asap
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
