I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
The best revenge is premature balding
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
