I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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