do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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