so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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