Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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