do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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