No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
