guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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