just come out here and I will go home with you...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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