tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
