shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
