guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
