Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
