I wish I only lived at night.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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