Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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