She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
