I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
