all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
