Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i was born a porn star she said
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
