so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
