Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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