I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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