There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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