How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
