You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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