He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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