is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
me + whiskey = a bad person
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
