I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I need moral support for this bender
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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