last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
