she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
