First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize