apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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