Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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