I'm lost and stupid without you.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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