Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
