remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
