peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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