dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
