Apparently you make a good broom.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
