I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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