he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
